So I gave Keto a go...

My blog has been completely neglected for 18 months, and I've struggled to come up with a subject worthy of my dusting it off again. Well, I've been asked so many questions about my dabble into the Keto lifestyle, so I thought that maybe this was worth it.

You've been living under a rock if you haven't heard of "Keto", short for Ketogenic (the Ketongenic Diet). It has been getting really, really big, and there are some serious success stories out there. For the months of March and April I participated in an 8 week challenge with my gym, where I tried to work out consistently, while sticking to an eating programme. This was my chance for me to "do something for me", and I'd been thinking about doing one of these challenges for over a year.

N.B. I am not a nutritionist, this is all just my observations, learnings and understanding.

One of the eating plans was Keto, and it was something that I was curious to try, especially since it wasn't too far from my standard low carb, high healthy fat / protein diet. It basically meant that I had to make sure I was getting plenty of good protein at each meal, and topped myself up with as much fat as I needed to feel satiated.  When eating like this, your body will (hopefully) go into ketosis, where it learns to burn fat for fuel, rather than carbs, resulting in fat loss and hopefully improved athletic performance.

Here's my take on an over-simplified summary:

Do eat:
Protein
Fat
Greens
Low carb Veg
Berries

Don't eat:
Sugar
Fruit
Carbs
Processed food

My concern was that I'd be having way too much animal protein and fat for my liking, and for sustainability, so my personal goal was to try and achieve this with as much plant-based food as possible.

Eating keto goodies after birthday WOD

Overall, I found it a really great experience, for a short period of time. It was good as I could cook what suited me, after making sure that I understood the concepts etc, and I didn't feel like I was on a "diet" at all, as I was eating delicious food and happily full. I wasn't missing out on treats, I just made myself Keto approved desserts and snacks as I needed. It suited me as I am well used to cooking / baking / preparing food in different ways, with sugar-free alternatives. I don't think I could stick to a strict meal plan as I'm a cheeky cooking cowboy and would always want to do my own thing. Don't put me in a box, man.

The cons: it's SUPER EXPENSIVE, as you're just eating the expensive foods. This wasn't a big deal for me as a female who doesn't really eat many carbs anyway, but for Sam (who is currently doing his own Keto challenge) it is getting darn pricey. It's also really unsustainable as you have to go eat so many foods that are costly and tough on the planet to produce.

My biggest question mark is around its health repercussions in the long term. I believe that there is a place for fruit, natural sugar, unprocessed carby veg and whole grains in the diet. Eating too much animal protein/fat isn't something I believe to be great for you in the long run either, so I'd be hesitant to stay Keto for a massively extended period of time. That being said, for many people, eating Keto is WAY more healthy than their regular diets, so this is just for me.

What were your results from the 8 weeks, I hear you say? Well, I lots 2.5kg, which was a massive amount for me, and a bunch of centimetres off my waist and thighs. My gains at the gym were HUGE too, and I generally felt great by the end of it!
Many people when starting out on Keto get the "Keto flu" and feel generally rubbish for a couple of weeks. I wasn't too affected by this, but I did experience a whole lot of scary pins and needles in my hands and feet, supposedly because my already low blood pressure went through the floor. This rectified within a couple of weeks with lots of electrolyte and salt supplementation.

If you were to ask me if I'd recommend it, I'd say hell yeah! But learn from it, make good habits and then come back to a balanced diet.

Jesse working on his deadlift

Life is short, and fickle

If you read my most recent post you will be aware that I've been really wrestling with making decisions around what matters to me and to our family. I have to admit it: I have been a total sucker and have given in to a bunch of the pressures that threaten to wear down Mums today. It left me in a place where I was spending way too much energy juggling things and hours of precious head space disappeared to my endless questioning about what the heck I was up to!



I'm happy to report that we've made some decisions as a family, and are now in a WAY better space. The biggest thing for me is that I have left my part time job in the city. When I made this decision it literally felt like a massive weight was lifted from me. I continue to manage our band The Dreamboats and have since started doing marketing for my gym from home; I can't actually slow down that much, but I'm so much more chilled out and content.

Life is flying by, and when I look back on my time as a young mum, I don't want to regret that I didn't spend more time picking daisies and reading books.


We've also had another series of incidents which have shaken our family and helped us to realign our priorities. Sam has been reacting to something unknown, which has had him rushed to hospital in an ambulance twice over the last two months. The most recent incident was easily the worst experience of my life: seeing my huge, capable husband completely disappear and slip away from me has left me in a bit of a state of shock.

Georgia getting a little too comfortable at hospital

While we are doing everything we can to work out what is triggering this anaphylaxis, we're at the whim of the public health system and have to tread very carefully. It makes things like sorting out our wills and life insurance far more of a priority. More importantly, though, it makes you appreciate what you have now, and helps to get your priorities back in check.

Life is short, and people are more important than anything else.

These two matter the most

What am I trying to prove?

Who am I trying to impress?

What am I trying to prove?

There are so many questions flying around in my head at the moment.

In the weekend Sam, Georgia and I drove up to Ohakune to meet with the rest of my family. The plan was to ski the acres of sweet, sweet powder at Turoa, under a bluebird sky.

Apparently that wasn't meant to be; it was a blizzard on the mountain and a rainy, cold mess in Ohakune. Still, it was nice to spend a weekend with my family in a house with a fire, some wines and some board games.

On reflecting on the weekend, I realised that I didn't enjoy myself at all. This wasn't because it wasn't fun; it's because I'm wound up like a crazy spring, trying to be a bunch of different things, none of which I particularly believe in.

Being a mother today is hard, no one will argue with that. Why is it so hard? Because society is throwing all sorts of crazy missiles at you, which we're supposed to catch and juggle, all whilst maintaining a fantastic, peaceful and organised home. We're told that we can "have it all", and yes, we can, but at what cost?

Matching with my mini at the "snow"

Feed your child whole foods, only from 6 months on, avoiding all grains until 12 months. And definitely don't go near sugar.
I have to say, I nailed this one. Win.
That's because it's something that I actually believe in and truly care about.

Teach your child to sleep through the night from an early age. Don't make them cry it out, but magically manipulate them into it.
Well, I taught her to sleep at 5 months, but there was definitely crying involved. I don't regret this AT ALL, in fact I endorse it.

When your child reaches the age of 12 months, return to your part time job and put your child into care. Make sure that this care has a primary carer set up, and that they can eat their balanced diet, whilst being "socialised" in the appropriate manner.
It took till Georgia was 14 months for me to do this, but I have been really happy with the arrangement so far.


But here I am, CONSTANTLY questioning whether I'm doing the right thing. I don't mean the odd thought from time to time, I'm talking about EVERY DAY.

I know that Georgia is in a great place, and loved and cared for, probably better than I could do anyway. What is it that I'm worrying about? I'm not sure to be honest. I think there's something bigger going on that has me completely unsettled.

In talking with my Dad today (my Dad is the best <3), he helped me to work out part of the picture:

I'm lacking clarity of purpose.

There are piles of different purposes in my life today, and they're conflicting with each other, all while  I haven't actually worked out what it is that truly gives me satisfaction and makes me feel like I've achieved something meaningful.

A big part of this problem is the expectations and ideas that others around us and society as a whole put on us. It wasn't very long ago that women were not expected to hold up a profession whilst raising whole members of society. Being a mother was a big enough job and everyone accepted that.

While I don't feel like I buy into these pressures, they've clearly had a big impact on me, as I'm now working part time, and mumming full time, and still questioning what the heck I'm up to. 

There are other things I do that I don't question, such as cooking great food and ensuring that my family are eating piles of nutrients, rather than empty calories. I CARE about this, and don't ever question it. I'm also a musician and I play the piano and sing when I can. I love this and it's a big part of who I am. 

Both of these things are purposes too.

Road trips mean Wild Bean Cafe binges for all

I'm a follower of Jesus, and we've finally found a group of other believers that we are keen to become a part of and connect with - this is big for me. (If you're interested, then King's Church in Porirua is a great place to be - for a whole bunch of reasons)

When my little girl is sick, or teething and needs my cuddles, or is going through a big leap in development and wants her Mama to help her though, shouldn't I be there?

Where do I draw the line? How do I make sure that I'm not stretching myself way too far and compromising what matters? How do I tell if the arrangement I have is truly a good thing, or just a thing?

Would I rather be poorer and go without some things, but have a simpler life?

So many questions... 

Heigh ho, heigh ho... Yep, I've gone back to work!!

I LOVE my little girl, and want the absolute best for her, as does every good parent. 

When Georgia was 6 months old, I resigned from my job as a recruitment consultant and decided to be a stay at home Mum. Both Sam and I agreed that for me to take care of her full time was what was best for our family and the decision was made. 

Somewhere along the line things changed: She grew older, more independent and confident. I grew up as a Mum and learned to relax and loosen my grip. We sold our house and bought a new, simpler and far more easily maintainable house, releasing me of a major burden. 

Another crucial thing happened: I chatted to one of my dearest friends, who Georgia loves like an Aunty and she readily agreed to care for her in her home, with her little boy, who happens to be G's BFF. Suddenly, everything fell into place- I met with my old employer who created a new position for me, starting at 1 day per week, then increasing to 2. 

I have to say, there are times that I question what the HECK I'm doing, whether I've made the right decision, but there are more times that I love it and the opportunity to have an awesome balance.

Now for some of the real stuff:

That first day: the first photo was a 9am, the second at 7:30pm (though it doesn't really show that I had been crying for more than an hour). When I got home that night with George at 6:30pm I suddenly felt tears explode down my face and they didn't stop till long after she was asleep in bed. I just wanted to hold her and cuddle her and read stories to her.

Then, she was a wrung out wreck for days, and I naturally wondered whether I had made a terrible mistake. But, the following week I realised that she didn't mind me leaving her with two of her favourite people for a day of fun, she was just a bit tired afterwards. It only took another week before she wasn't even tired, she wanted more. It all got WAY easier.

Now, I get to be a contributing member of society and do things like go out for work dinners and do photo shoots with umbrellas!

It truly is a good balance, but now I'm adjusting to the fact that I can't achieve everything that I used to as a full-time Mum, because I'm not... Something has to give so that I don't burn out, but I'm sure that I'll get there ;-) 

And they said that buying your first home was hard...

Buying Selling your first home = An absolutely MAMMOTH task.

Sam and I bought our first home around 2.5 years ago. We'd been looking for about four months and had missed out on 3 homes prior to securing ours. We'd reached that point where you truly put in
more than you want to spend on an offer, which allows you to actually win something.

The place was "perfect"; it literally hit every one of our "must haves" and "nice to haves". We were thrilled.

A year later we realised that we had no idea what we were really after in a house. Having a baby changed some crucial things dramatically, like layout, warmth, section and we realised that this house that was meant to be skipping us to the "second house" wasn't really what we wanted after all.
Once Sam and I had both made up our minds that we wanted OUT, it was all hands on deck to get the place ready to sell again. After that we were tired, but confident that we were going to be able to sell it easily with the current housing market, and its appeal with a water view, four decent bedrooms, a large renovated kitchen and two bathrooms.

The things that I wish I knew about selling before were:

It takes WAY longer to get it ready for market than you think.
It took every weekend (and every nap time for me) for at least 3 months to have the section looking mint again and the house touched up to perfection.

Choosing a real estate agent and getting the house on the market takes quite some time and is a decent ordeal.
I turned to local facebook groups for recommendations in the end.

Open homes are the worst.
Well, it's more the state of being on the market, as you don't want to mess anything up, or cook anything with a strong smell, and you've gotta be ready to get out of there, should someone want to come back and take a second look. Couple that with being a routine-based mama with a 1 year old...

In buying again we knew exactly what we wanted, so that narrowed things down a lot. We flirted with the slightly mad idea of moving further away from the city to get a really great house by the beach, moving over to the Hutt, but ended up staying in Whitby - at least we got that part right the first time!

After everything, we were somewhat disappointed by the price we sold the house for, and spent more than we'd hoped on our new place (which still needs a few things doing to get it just right), but we don't regret the whole process. It was a necessary ordeal for us. The main thing that frustrates me is that I wish we'd just done it right the first time.

My main piece of advice to people who are looking to buy their first home is to spend a bit more to get it right the first time, especially if you have young kids. Selling and moving with little ones just plain SUCKS.

The revelation of an actual holiday

Last weekend our little family returned home after being away on a FOUR WEEK HOLIDAY. We are beyond blessed to have been able to get away for so long. It was possible because it was a cost effective option; we stayed with my parents for half of it, then with them at the beach, and because we were only coordinating one lot of annual leave, though I'm sure Sam is now in negative leave-wise!

A four-week holiday is clearly going to be a massive treat for anyone. To me though, it was a daunting idea initially, as I've found that all "holidays" with a baby have been the opposite of restful, and have completely stressed me out and left me ragged and more exhausted than before. However, this was SO DIFFERENT. 

She ate sand, and that's ok

She didn't have sunblock on

I have my parents to thank for this. They bent over backwards to accommodate us in order to ensure that it was smooth and that Georgia was able to basically stick to her normal daily patterns. They even kept a room clear for her, both at their house and at the beach so that we didn't have to sleep with her, and therefore actually did that (sleep). They learnt her "routine" and happily took care of her so that Sam and I could go off and do normal people things like swimming, walking, skiing, cafe-ing, shopping and what was such a huge break-through was that I learnt how to CHILL THE FLIP OUT again.

Beverages were had

Hallelujah! I've had a massive realisation that I have been strung out like an overturned E string for approximately 11.5 months, and have probably been a terrible wife, sister, friend, daughter, daughter-in-law, etc etc. I feel like a different human and want to apologise to everyone I've been around. Cheers and here's to a more relaxed 2017! 

`

Because she's cute and wasn't sure what was with the hot sand the first time

Sleep, precious little of it

Probably one of the biggest issues of concern for me, in my small, comfortable little world (other than US politics) is sleep. It's a main topic of conversation for me and I'd hate to admit how much of my time it is in my thoughts.

It is SO important!

There are some people who can function really well with less than the required 7-8 hours per night, and there are others (myself included) who turn into blubbering, dysfunctional loonies when they are behind on sleep. My husband is one of those lucky beings that is gifted in the area of sleep. He can lie down on the couch and be snoozing within minutes at any time of day, and every night I eventually fall asleep to the sound of his breathing or (grrrrrrr) snoring.

There are so many interesting articles out there about how important sleep is for our bodies including cell repair, release of hormones and recharging your brain. I think most people are aware of the obvious physical consequences of lack of sleep, such as trouble concentrating or remembering things, and impaired capacity to work or drive. 

Most would agree that it is crucial to our health and wellbeing, but some of those who find sleeping easy could do with learning a little bit about how real a problem sleep can be for people. For instance, my husband finds it completely frustrating that I can't fall asleep like him. It is largely for these people that I write this post, and then for those on the other side who can relate with me.

Sleep can be a REALLY BIG DEAL. You don't know how crucial it is until you struggle with it. 

Peaceful sleeping baby. Awwwww.

Here are the sleep activities of a crap-sleeper:

5:30am: Husband's alarm goes off. He stifles it quickly, but you heard it. You lie there and pretend to be asleep, to both husband and self. If you are lucky you end up dozing. Otherwise you lie there calculating how much sleep you likely got: fell asleep maybe "this time" and woke to husband snoring at XXpm then baby chatting at Xam, so take off an hour... until...

6:07am (or 6:37am if you're lucky): Baby starts saying "bah bah bah", "ada ada ada". You wait a couple of minutes to be sure that she's really awake, then get up and the day begins.

9:30am: Baby is napping. I'm still in my pyjamas. I could have a nap too. Let's be realistic, I SUCK at sleeping in the day. Make difficult decision whether to lie horizontal for an hour and rest or to be productive with your time in the hope that it might mean a slightly earlier bedtime at the end of it all.

11:00am: Drink cup of coffee. DECAF, I can't afford to drink stimulants... might not get to sleep tonight.

1:00pm: Husband calls, says he is going to be home late tonight, save some dinner etc. Uh oh, I want to spend some time with him: does this mean that I might need to go to bed later and hence lose some of those precious hours of potential sleep?!! 

2:00pm: Baby asleep again. She falls asleep so effortlessly, I wish I could do that - I guess there must be far too much in my mind when I'm lying in bed-SHUTUPKATE

Could really do with a nap right now. Make another difficult decision, usually going the direction of starting dinner prep. This will help with getting to bed earlier.

4:00pm: Oh no, I haven't done any exercise today - I probably won't be able to sleep properly argh. Do quick body-weight interval set. Probably doesn't count, not high enough intensity. 

5:00pm: Feeding baby dinner. Come ON Georgia, you need to eat the whole bowl of mush so that you'll sleep through the night!!!!! Then I might have another crack at doing it myself (Even though she doesn't wake up, I still do).

Yes, they are BOTH asleep, but I'm awake

7:00pm: Husband home, baby asleep, let's have dinner together. Oh and I'll have that magnesium supplement, helps with sleep.

7:30pm: Sorry babe, I can't watch a movie with you, I'll never sleep!

9:00pm: Get into bed, rub magnesium lotion on random part of body. I'm gonna absorb magnesium one way or another. I don't want to get back to taking melatonin. Close eyes. Sleeeeeeeeeeep.

9:07pm: Husband breathing heavily. He's asleep. Lucky egg. No, it's good, he needs to sleep so that he can work! Shift to other side, will be more comfortable, I reckon.

Just relax, okay, picturing a really relaxing place...

9:25pm: Husband's breathing verging on snoring. ARGH I'll never get to sleep now that he's being noisy!

Yes, you will, slow your breathing.  Shift back to other side, pull covers up to ears. Think of all the words starting with A that you can think of.

Fall asleep AT SOME POINT. 

11:25pm: Stir. It must be early in the morning, I've been sleeping for ages. Check clock. Why do I do that? I know I shouldn't do that. 

1:25am: Repeat.

3:00am: Hear shriek from baby's room. Eek, is it just a random one or is she actually awake?!!! Whole body tense, waiting. 

No more noise, okay, back to sleep. 

Eventually. 

Realistically, I don't have much of a problem. Things are just fine, and I know what works for me. I can see how this would be a totally consuming battle for those who get deeper into the pattern. It is a crazy mind game.

So, if you care about someone who struggles with sleep, give them a bit more love. It can be a bit of a long road.

Making the decisions

Today, I had a bit of a revelation about one part of becoming a parent that makes it such a heavy load to carry:

YOU HAVE TO MAKE SO MANY DECISIONS.

What really makes this tiring and trying is the fact that you're making them for this tiny, helpless human that you love so much that you might EXPLODE.

On the road to adulthood, you are faced with so many decisions. One of the first big ones, that you're usually forced to make as a bumbling teenager, will cost you thousands of dollars and is supposed to pave the way for the rest of your life's journey: study (don't get me started). Then there's jobs, travel, life partners, buying houses etc etc. These decisions are massive, but they're only for yourself. This makes them that much manageable, and you only have to deal with the consequences yourself (for the most part).

Parenthood is full of crazy decisions. Heck, I'm only 8.5 months in, and I'm already over making decisions.

Before your little bundle of joy turns up, you have to decide on things like whether to buy a Moses basket or a bassinet, which hospital you think you might deliver them in, whether you want to stab them with a Vitamin K injection the minute they surface, what colour walls their room will be... And we just want the best for our little ones, so we spend INSANE amounts of money on things that may never be used.

Once they turn up you realise how crazy caring for a helpless human is, and you become even more inclined to throw money at things that might help them sleep better, be healthier, not develop terrible disorders, stimulate their intellectual development... it gets a bit mad.

Georgia may be an Olympic swimmer now

The really hard part is making decisions on things like immunisations, whether to return to work or care for them full time, what early childhood education option to enrol them in, which way to feed them solids, whether to use Bonjela in the middle of the night because your baby is screaming down the house with sore teeth (and you're afraid that they'll develop Reye's syndrome), whether to try and teach them to sleep when you want them to in a direct way or to go with the flow. 

Avocado is a good decision

And this is just the beginning.

I can't even imagine what it will be like when Georgia reaches school.

To "work" or not to "work"

If you have caught up with me in the last couple of months, we most likely would have chatted about what has been the billion dollar question: whether to return to paid work or not, when to return to work and in what capacity etc etc. The other funny thing is that I have probably told each of you something different, due to the fact that I have changed my mind AT LEAST 50 times.

On Monday I finally made the decision. I say "I", rather than "we" because in the end it did come down to me. This is roughly what my journey looked like:

Phase 1: COMPLETE DISBELIEF AND SHOCK

For at least the first two months of having a baby I was completely perplexed as to how anyone could possibly have offspring and work a job at the same time. Full stop. I needed help in order to feed myself and have clean clothes for my family. There was no way that I could ever fit a job into motherhood.

Phase 2: DENIAL

From when Georgia was two months old, to around four months, I was in a state of survival, just. I was managing things like cooking food and washing. Occasionally, I even managed to clean a small section of our house. I continued to marvel at the wondrous capacity of those who worked whilst possessing children, but could think about it more than I could previously. In this phase I could momentarily daydream about what life could look like in a year, with a toddler, after staging a heroic return to the workforce. These moments were fleeting, and were usually followed by a relapse into disbelief and shock.

Phase 3: SUPERWOMAN

By the time that I had a five month old, I was really starting to get the hang of this Mum thing: She was sleeping well during the day, and we'd taught her to sleep through the night, so I could regularly string whole sentences together, carry out conversations that lasted longer than 30 seconds and undertake small projects. I picked up some of my old favourite past times like raw baking, exercising and blogging. I think that the dramatic contrast to my earlier state made me feel like I could manage anything and I let my imagination run wild. I spent time reading up on Early Childhood centres in my neighbourhood and planning out daily schedules with a commute into town.

Phase 4: REALISATION

This is me now. The rubber really hit the road: I had an offer from a previous workplace, and then shortly after I had a phone call from my current employer, as the woman who was on contract for my maternity leave had resigned. It was time to get serious.

I eagerly started planning out proposed schedules and crunching numbers, running through umpteen different possible scenarios and poring over different part time arrangements.

It wasn't until right before I met with my boss that my thoughts and ultimately my values and convictions came to the surface. These were the pros for going back to work:

Extra cash
Keep "in the game" and current with the work force
Avoid long gaps on my CV (there's the recruiter in me)
Have time to myself- ADULT time
A chance to pursue my own endeavours

But this is what it came down to:

It's a cliche, but they grow up SO fast. I unofficially surveyed dozens of mothers who now had grown-up children, and they were unanimous on the fact that the early years of your kids life fly by. Many said that they wish they hadn't rushed to return to work. I already feel as though Georgia is developing at a million miles an hour and don't want to miss a thing.

My job... for now

There are so many decisions to make when raising children. Sam and I want to be the ones making them, on a daily basis. We also want to be the ones that spend the most time with our children, especially in their early years. I don't want someone else to see Georgia take her first step, or say her first real word.

A core value for Sam and I is balance. We appreciate living a productive and full life, but having time to breathe and just be. Filling every moment of every day isn't exactly our goal, we value time to reflect, think and just be. Mornings and evenings are the busiest times in a young family, and to work all day and only be around for these crazy hours of the day sounds like a recipe for heart failure. This is saying nothing of the fact that these couple of hours of the day are made worse with adding in logistics of getting kids to and from care etc etc. I guess we're not keen to sign up for something that could really pay a major toll on our relationship and quality of life.

The final clincher is our value of health. My mother had cancer as a young mum, and our family haven't been the same since. We all take our health very seriously and keeping fit and healthy comes pretty high on the priority list for both Sam and I. It is really time-consuming keeping a nutritious and varied diet and especially for a young family, so in me being at home and able to focus on this for the first, truly important years of our kids' life we are choosing to prioritise building healthy habits for our whole family.

There you go: I'm going to be a stay-at-home Mum, at least for now anyway. I now truly get the struggle that parents go through in juggling work and home and making choices in this area, and REALLY respect those who manage to return to work quickly. You are super humans.

xx

Further points to note:
While I plan on not going into a formal work situation, I know that I need to be productive and have at least one outlet, where I can plan, carry out and achieve things (without Georgia turning into a project!). This is a work in progress, but at this point I have just taken on the management of Jonny and the Dreamboats (our covers band), and am excited to put some energy and drive into that.
I imagine the health/fitness thing will continue to be an interest/project too.
I also am not saying that I think every Mum should be a good little housewife, at home with the kids; our world is far past that! It's just the circumstances that our family find ourselves in. We are truly blessed that I even have the choice, for a start!

Boobs

So now that I'm a mum, I've been toying with the question of what my blog should look like (amongst a whole lot of other, far more important questions). I suppose I could join the underworld of "Mummy-Blogging". Maybe I'll have something funny to say, or I could write heavily dry and sarcastic complaint-blogs whining about the perils of parenthood? Realistically though, I am not funny enough, or negative enough, so I'm not sure how that would take off. I will, however, dedicate one post (this one) to the ultimate Mum-weapons.

I've never been someone with a super-strong boob-game, but this hasn't really bothered me too much. To be honest, I don't quite get what the big fuss is about. It's very clear, though, that roughly half of the world sees boobs as somehow powerful, and the other half tends to possess a pair.

Breasts. I never really use the word on its own, it seems a little clinical. Saying "boobs" is more affectionate, and familiar. My husband has never referred to them as anything else either. There are, however, scores of alternative nick-names and alternative words that can be employed to refer to the common breast. Some are quite vulgar, and others a little bit silly.

Titties.

Jugs.

Boobies.

There are heaps of terms, I won't go on.

I haven't ever cared enough to be offended by the fuss/nonsense, and I had a bit of a moment one morning this week when Sam referred almost affectionately, in a way most unlike his normal nature, to my boobs as "your milk jugs". I reeled for a moment, and searched for an appropriate response, before realizing that this was actually accurate and somehow a sweet thing for him to say.

Breast-feeding my newborn bubba

Breastfeeding. There, I use the word breast when I use the full term. This has definitely completely changed my perspective on boobies. I had a moment this morning, when my baby had decided to sleep in (wahoo!). I was able to get a quick shower and get dressed before feeding her and GOSH my boobs were about to explode. It was in this moment that I TRULY realised that my breasts (it feels weird typing it) had finally come into their own. Inside my head I slowly started to piece together how cool these feminine appendages were: I have been feeding my baby for 6 months, and I am solely responsible for all of the nutrition that she has received, and therefore all of the growing that she has done. Compare a newborn to a 6-month old: that is a lot of growing.

Needless to say, I am feeling pretty coy about my super powers. It's a very private and personal little celebration that I have been having, but I've never felt so comfortable and happy in my own little body. Power to me!

It's Breastfeeding week this week, so I'm feeling particularly chuffed that I have been blessed with the privilege of feeding my little cutie this far. There are plenty of people who are gypped of the opportunity, so I'm also thinking of those wonderful mamas.

Celebrating boobies and happy babies!

Having a baby

Wow, I really dropped the ball with my blog! It's not that nothing has happened in two years, but more that I've just gotten out of the habit. Now I'm a Mum with a cold, moping round home and have no excuses left...

It makes sense to start with the most life-changing event that has taken place: the birth of our daughter Georgia.

Key fun facts:

1) Labour can feel like period pain. This meant that I spent the first half hour of my labour frantically googling "labour+period+pain", arguing with Sam over the term that I was using ("cramps") and trying to call my mum to see if I could be in labour.

2) Water births are amazing.

3) If your family have a history of fast births, expect one too.

4) The birth process is a mere drop in the ocean, compared to actually LIVING with the baby.

5) Entonox is flipping fantastic.

Baby was 39 weeks gestation and my friend Penny came to stay. We went for a swim in the ocean, ate some nachoes and had an ordinary night. I felt tired and had a sore back, so I left Sam and Pen to watch a movie and went to bed early, but when Sam came to bed I hadn't actually got any sleep. At around midnight I started to feel what I would call "cramps", which just felt like period pain. They'd come and then disappear, and I realised that this could possibly be it after about 4 of these. After waking Sam to make him download a contraction timer app and confirming (thanks google) that this probably was labour, we realised that things were happening quickly - intense contractions every 2 or 3 minutes.

I didn't want to wake Penny, who was sleeping in the spare room, so demanded that we move to the lounge. The next hour was made up of me ordering Sam around, trying to go for a walk to ease the pain, and mainly arguing as to when we should call the midwife. When we finally did at 1:30am, I couldn't even talk to her, so she opted to come over and check me out immediately. It turned out that I was already 7cm dilated, so couldn't take any more time in getting to the hospital. After Sam had packed his bag (?!!!!! grrr) we left. THIS WAS EASILY THE WORST DRIVE OF MY LIFE. Note to self: sit in the back seat next time. We live in Whitby, which is ordinarily a 40 minute drive to Wellington Hospital in the CBD. Thankfully there was no traffic at 2am...

By the time we got there I couldn't even walk- I was SO thankful when an orderly turned up with a wheel chair and took me up. There is NO DIGNITY in childbirth. But it is amazing.

My midwife Shelley started filling the birthing pool when we made it into my room. Note: these take FOREVER to fill. Didn't make it into the pool until around 3am. By then I was reaching the "transition" phase, which is the roughest and most painful part. Entonox helped me to focus at this crucial point, though the super delightful student midwife Danielle had to keep reminding me to use the gas.

The actual "pushing" only lasted about 30 minutes, and I kind of paced myself with this and took it slow, only pushing properly when threatened that I would be CUT.

The most powerful moment that I remember is when Shelley said to me, "Look down, Kate", and I saw her head was out (and covered in hair!). Then a second later bub was hauled up onto my chest, looking like a beautiful, perfect skinned rabbit. I couldn't breathe. My baby felt the same and made no noise at all. Everything was perfect. I felt like I was silently laughing, but was only gasping.

Georgia (Sam and I looked at each other and knew that was her name already) wasn't making any noise at all. She lay quietly on me in the warm pool and everything was exactly as it was meant to be. Shelley pushed the emergency button and the room filled with the emergency resuscitation team, but I wasn't worried, it was perfect. Georgia took a breath and they disappeared as quietly as they arrived.

We'd planned to spend a couple of days in post-natal care at Kenepuru Hospital following the birth. My gorgeous girl was born at 4.06am, and we were out of the door by 6:30am, after a hot chocolate and toast. I was in a complete daze as Sam carefully drove our little family back on the same roads that we had torn down a couple of hours earlier. Surreal.

Krka National Park

We were incredibly fortunate to visit the stunning Krka National Park in Croatia. I could spend weeks exploring this breath-taking place, teeming with all kinds of flora and fauna. It is based around the Krka River.

There are 18 species of fish in the park, including these spotted trout.

The most famous feature of the area is the largest travertine cascades in all of Europe.

Travertine up close

 The travertine cascades are formed by limestone deposits from thermal springs. In this case the hot water is depositing on living organisms, so the cascades are growing and living.

There are 222 kinds of birds in the park, including these beautiful swans and signets.

 The whole area near the largest cascade pool named Sravinski Buk in filled with travertine cascades.

Here is a gorgeous view of part of the park.

Kourouta Beach, Peloponesse

On our final cruise Sam and I took a transfer to Kourouta Beach, Greece. It has a "blue flag" from the European Union for its purity and excellence.

The beach chairs were actually FREE which was amazing, and we nabbed two chairs with an umbrella. After a swim we found a beautiful little local eatery on the water and ate some delicious Mousaka.